At first, I didn’t think I’d write about this. The challenge to myself was to just post the video, that’s it. But witnessing such an amazing response I thought I’d share more and give you a background of what was going on in my head and how I chose to overcome fear and go past my self-limiting belief.
I recently uploaded a video on all my social media profiles. This video was purely out of my commitment to my growth, to overcome fear, my mind-made fears and limitations. If you haven’t watched the video — Watch it below ? (not for content but for context)
Thanks to the overwhelming response and support, I made a YouTube Channel!!! I invite you to subscribe for content on Self-Awareness, Self-Mastery, Productivity & Performance, etc. ?
Notice how I put “mind-made” in bold; it is because there are two kinds of fear. One is real, one is not.
One is life-threatening, like you falling down from a height or fear of crossing roads in fast moving traffic, etc.
The other fear is made by our mind to “protect” the ego, to keep us in a safe, comfortable place (emotionally). Basic example of mind-made fears is — one not raising their hand in class which is equivalent to one not sharing / communicating cause of fear of being judged. This fear encourages behaviour which is safe and comfortable. There’s not much to lose per se, but then there’s not much to gain as well.
Growth is outside the comfort zone. Growth is in doing things we’ve never done before, learning things we haven’t learnt before.
I am going to be talking about mind-made fear / self-limiting beliefs.
I am certain we all have gone beyond our mind-made fears / limitations some time or the other, out of necessity if not by choice. However, in this article, I will share the exact steps I took that inspired me to go beyond the limiting belief so it can be replicated and we can choose to move beyond our made up limitations at whim and not only when it is absolutely necessary.
I thought of this idea (of sharing a video) last week. I remember I was in the shower, just contemplating life, dreams, goals.
I thought about my dream of leading/influencing people (leading, educating, training, DJing). That lead me to think about the repercussions of coronavirus on the music, entertainment, and training/education industry. How a lot of artists/leaders/trainers/educators are going “live” on various social medias to further their vision and provide value. I thought about how I could also do the same and that’s where I stopped. I immediately said to myself, “Nah, I can’t do that.”
I introspected, why can’t I do that?
The answer was fear of being judged.
Thats when I thought I’d take a step beyond this fear and upload a video.
One half of me (the higher-self) instantly agreed to do this as it saw all the possibilities, the bright side, how it will expand me. It took this as an opportunity. I thought to myself, here I am, one who dreams to perform in front of people, lead people, one who dreams of fame, etc, and I am not comfortable with myself?
How could I lead people when I am not confident about myself? How could I play in front of people if am not confident about myself? — To be specific — When I get conscious of people looking at me and listening to me! [I have been comfortable with 1 on 1 conversations but 1 to group, not that much — working on it]
I thought to myself — How could I be everything that I wanted and more without being completely comfortable with myself — be it with the way I look, the way I talk, the way I am in general.
I assume that all the people I aspire to be like — the ones who are leading, the ones who are performing, the ones who are comfortable putting out videos, etc, are like that because they are comfortable with themselves, how they are, who they are, and are confident about themselves.
I have got to own myself and accept myself as is, I thought to myself! This is it, this is me!
Extra motivation came in the form of the realisation that I will be able to share / contribute much more value via video on top of what I am and will be providing through just writing.
So I said to myself — challenge accepted!
I took this idea as a stepping stone to achieve my goals and dreams.
The other half of me (the ego), however, did not like this idea at all! It was not confident about this. It thought this idea was stupid, pointless. It’s funny how the ego was giving me two contradicting reasons to stop me from recording and uploading the video.
- People will make fun of you. You’ll look like an idiot. No one cares about your upload or what you’re doing, etc.
- You are just doing this to satisfy your ego (lol) [I read somewhere, as we learn more, become smarter, our egos do too. #JusSharin]
Basically anything to get me not to do this.
My ego was asking me not to take any action — to protect itself. I had a lot of reasons not to do this, one of the main ones being — “what will people say or think?” (Hence I took around a week to upload a 30-second video. I did it nonetheless.)
This question of “what will people think/say?” alone has stopped me from living my best life since forever. I get present to this thought’s deep-rooted nature in my life, in my way of being each day. I get present to the impact it has on my life, the opportunity costs and it drives me to move ahead, go beyond this dialogue and be/do/say whatever I want to be/do/say. [It does, a lot of times, make me feel like a loser too, I won’t lie— mainly when I accept the limitations and I don’t take any action. ]
“Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.”Benjamin Disraeli
I have been on a conscious journey of self-expression since 2013, I think.
Self expression for me = to be, do, say who I am, what/how I feel — unapologetically.
I have noticed how I suppress my thoughts, emotions, point of views and I am actively working on communicating the same.
I have come a long way from where I was back then, no doubt, but there is still a long way to go!
3-4 years back, I gave myself a challenge to write about my feelings, share my journey, my point of views. I was pretty nervous back when I started. It was new for me. But it was a small step towards self-expression. Once I did start writing however, it felt freeing and I got really positive response from people around me. Now I am pretty comfortable with that — so much so that I started a blog!
Now, I gave myself another challenge — to put out a video of me on social media.
This meant A LOT to me. I don’t know if you have noticed, but I am not one of those who post their pictures, selfies, or post videos of themselves or go live. I’m not comfortable getting clicked… So, posting a video which I took of myself — online? ?
But I did it. And you know what, I felt great. I respect myself more. I love myself more. I am proud of myself.
So down to business, 6 steps I used to overcome my fear / self-limiting belief
- Identify the fear / limiting belief
- Get present to the impact it has had on your life till now.
- Get present to its impact in the future, if things remain the same — the opportunity costs
- Imagine if you didn’t have that fear — what would you be/do/say? How would you look like? How would life look like?
- Ask yourself, what is one thing you could do today that would take you closer to that you/life without fear? One step to take you beyond that fear/limitation. It could be a baby step.
- Take that step and acknowledge / celebrate it
- It is extremely important to acknowledge and celebrate. Success breeds success. — Small victories form momentum and bring about big victories.
“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”Lao Tzu
I took the baby steps and I love myself for that. I feel powerful. I guess the most powerful feeling is when you go beyond your own limitations; when you prove it to yourself that YOU CAN DO IT! That’s a different kind of high.
I felt so good and freeing after posting the video and receiving the amazing response, that I made a youtube channel! ?
PLIS Subscribe ? https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9hui_ukYf811voHO6HrT1g?
Also, I used the above-mentioned method to start waking up at 5am!!! I don’t know if you know, but I have always considered myself a night person. It was effortless for me to stay up till 4,5,6 am and the best time to sleep for me was when the sun was rising. My closest friends call me DK (Dark Knight) cause I always meet them late at night, nothing to do with the fact that I usually wear the color Black (haha). I never saw myself as a morning person, but now I am waking up at 5 am 2-3 times a week. My aim is to wake up at 4 am on weekdays at least.
Late nights were productive (when I was at home). Late night is a good time to work because there’s little to no distractions. Same is the case with waking up early morning though. There is little to no distraction And trust me when I say this — the most productive days of MY LIFE have been when I woke up at 4/5 am!
- If your mind says you can’t do it — Look for other people who have done what you’re committed to doing. If they can do it, you can do it! (Learn how they did it, what worked for them)
- Repeat! — If you keep repeating the 6 steps, be it in any area of life, for any reason — you will not recognize yourself when you look back. The amount of growth and expansion you will achieve is going to be insane.
To conclude, this method did work for me in different areas of life and I believe it will work for you too if you apply it as per the steps outlined above.
Don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t see results right away though, it is a journey. Be patient, and more importantly, be consistent with your effort and never give up (characteristics of the people who succeed).
Start with baby steps. I am certain that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to!
Extremely important note — ***All of this (me sharing and expressing my point of views), is possible because of the amazing listening and reception I get from my community (both online and offline) — my friends, family — all the generous, loving, and supportive people who have made this journey of self-expression, self-awareness so pleasant, peaceful and joyous. Thank you so much for being so supportive and encouraging always! Means A LOT!***
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you ?
Lots of love!
Take care x