I have learnt A LOT from Hugo (my dog) since he came into our lives 3 years ago. Below I will be sharing just one of the learnings (a big one nonetheless).
I share more on Hugo’s impact/influence on my life in these posts too —
Anyway, so I was having a conversation with Hugo the other day (yes, you read it right) and I realised a pattern which, afterwards, I broke out of for good.
Let me share how my conversation with Hugo looks like
Whenever I meet my Hugo, I say to him how much I love him.
I pull his cheeks, give him belly rubs and tell him “I love you so much, dog!”
I just keep repeating “I love you” and keep adding weird names at the end of it.
After communicating how much I love him, I ask him if he loves me back. (Hmm ?)
I ask him that a couple of times, and then I apologise to him if he thinks my love is not enough for him. (I know right ?♂️)
I dive into the downward spiral, thinking of how and what I can do better for him. I feel bad / less about myself and my love for him.
I feel bad that I don’t love him enough or don’t love him how he wants / deserves it.
This used to happen almost every other day.
This was a pattern and one day I got present to this pattern right when I was starting beat myself up for not loving him right.
There’s a saying – how you do anything is how you do everything.
I realised this is how I have been operating with everyone in my life!
I got present to my communication habit, I should say.
I communicate, then I look for validation from others — if they’re satisfied / pleased with my behaviour / ways of being/doing.
I keep second-guessing what they must be thinking, what they must be expecting of me, how I should be/act.
I beat myself up for the things I know I can do better to satisfy / please others.
After realising this, I just dropped this pattern.
I locked it in my head that I do what I do, I do how I do it — that’s what makes me, me!
We all have our own ways of being and doing. Doesn’t mean one way is better than the other. It just is.
I came to terms with the fact that I can do anything but I can’t do everything.
I know I can always do better but I also love myself enough to not do that at the expense of my own well-being be it physical, mental, emotional, and/or spiritual.
No more beating myself up for the better I can do, I can do/be better while loving myself.
I started choosing and accepting myself, not feeling bad for myself and my ways of being and acting.
I started acknowledging my intentions and actions.
I started looking at all the good I’m already doing.
What you focus on, grows, right?
If I keep focusing on what’s missing, I’ll keep finding a growing list of things that are missing.
While I am all for growing and being better each day but it is equally important, if not more, to acknowledge what all I’m already doing.
So now I’m like —
This is me. This is the way I operate.
If something doesn’t work for me, it doesn’t.
If something doesn’t work for you, okay, take it or leave it.
There’s no need for me to please or get validations anymore.
Having faith in myself is something I’ve struggled with for a long time, but not anymore!
I would like to thank Hugo for having this conversation with me, I needed this. Haha
This is it. Thank you for reading!
I hope you got something out of it, even if it was just a laugh ?