a conversation with my dog that changed my life forever!

I have learnt A LOT from Hugo (my dog) since he came into our lives 3 years ago. Below I will be sharing just one of the learnings (a big one nonetheless).

I share more on Hugo’s impact/influence on my life in these posts too —

Anyway, so I was having a conversation with Hugo the other day (yes, you read it right) and I realised a pattern which, afterwards, I broke out of for good.

Let me share how my conversation with Hugo looks like

Whenever I meet my Hugo, I say to him how much I love him.

I pull his cheeks, give him belly rubs and tell him “I love you so much, dog!”

I just keep repeating “I love you” and keep adding weird names at the end of it.

After communicating how much I love him, I ask him if he loves me back. (Hmm ?)

I ask him that a couple of times, and then I apologise to him if he thinks my love is not enough for him. (I know right ?‍♂️)

I dive into the downward spiral, thinking of how and what I can do better for him. I feel bad / less about myself and my love for him.

I feel bad that I don’t love him enough or don’t love him how he wants / deserves it.

This used to happen almost every other day.

This was a pattern and one day I got present to this pattern right when I was starting beat myself up for not loving him right.

There’s a saying – how you do anything is how you do everything.

I realised this is how I have been operating with everyone in my life!

I got present to my communication habit, I should say.

I communicate, then I look for validation from others — if they’re satisfied / pleased with my behaviour / ways of being/doing.

I keep second-guessing what they must be thinking, what they must be expecting of me, how I should be/act.

I beat myself up for the things I know I can do better to satisfy / please others.

After realising this, I just dropped this pattern.

I locked it in my head that I do what I do, I do how I do it — that’s what makes me, me!

We all have our own ways of being and doing. Doesn’t mean one way is better than the other. It just is.

I came to terms with the fact that I can do anything but I can’t do everything.

I know I can always do better but I also love myself enough to not do that at the expense of my own well-being be it physical, mental, emotional, and/or spiritual.

No more beating myself up for the better I can do, I can do/be better while loving myself.

I started choosing and accepting myself, not feeling bad for myself and my ways of being and acting.

I started acknowledging my intentions and actions.

I started looking at all the good I’m already doing.

What you focus on, grows, right?

If I keep focusing on what’s missing, I’ll keep finding a growing list of things that are missing.

While I am all for growing and being better each day but it is equally important, if not more, to acknowledge what all I’m already doing.

So now I’m like —

This is me. This is the way I operate.

If something doesn’t work for me, it doesn’t.

If something doesn’t work for you, okay, take it or leave it.

There’s no need for me to please or get validations anymore.